Just Breathe

Are you breathing? Sounds like a silly question, but it’s legitimate and important! Pay attention to your breathing pattern. Do you hold your breath throughout the day? Do you utilize the full capacity of your lungs when you inhale, or are your breaths shallow leaving your body deprived of oxygen? Do you breathe through your mouth, or the place where air was intended to flow...your nostrils? When you breathe does your abdomen move? It should! When you breathe in your chest and belly should expand, and when you exhale they should retract.

The first thing that becomes compromised when we are stressed or anxious is our breath. This is why it is important that you make every effort to be aware of and regulate it because it’s the very thing that can bring you back to yourself and calm you during stressful periods. The breath never lies. It is the informant of your current state of mind. Don't believe me? Pay attention to your breath when you are anxious, fearful, stressed, relaxed, calm, or at peace.

So, how about giving it a try? Breathe in through your nose slowly and deeply for a count of six seconds. Hold at the top, and slowly exhale through your nose for a count of eight seconds. As you inhale feel your body receive the free air that plays a vital role in your aliveness. As you exhale, connect with the feeling of your inner body as it releases your breath back into the Universe. Practice honoring your breath, and seeking its support when you need it most.

Namaste,
Terri

What if?

What if you have more control over the quality of your life than you think? What if you get to decide how you would like to experience your life? What if it really is all about your thoughts and behaviors and not others’ thoughts and behaviors that makes your life rich? What if you cherish both the ups and downs of your journey? What if you make yourself a priority in your life? What if you really do have control over those things about you that you believe you don’t? What if you stepped out of your comfort zone, and recreated your life in a way that works for you? What if you have all of the power to create a new normal? What if the experience of your life is completely up to you? What would you do about it?

Love and well-being,
Terri

I Was Wrong, and I'm Sorry

A genuine “I was wrong, and I’m sorry” can go a long way. It actually helps to heal both parties…the apologizee AND apologizer. Sometimes we find it very difficult to say “I’m sorry” because behind an apology is the confession that we did something wrong.

When we feel we’ve done something wrong we are burdened with the emotion of guilt. And when we don’t find a healthy way of releasing our guilt, it remains bottled up inside. When such an intense emotion toward ourselves remains confined inside of us it tends to turn into debilitating emotions such as self-hatred, anger, disgust, and resentment, which ends up being expressed outwardly toward others. This is called projection—what we feel toward ourselves is redirected toward others. It’s a defense mechanism that keeps us protected from the pain, shame, guilt, fear, and anger we feel toward ourselves.

When we house contempt toward ourselves it’s very likely that we will begin to suffer physically (physical pain, migraines, digestive problems, ulcers, illnesses, disease, etc.). Your immune system becomes compromised when it has been overtaken by toxins, and this includes negative emotional pollution. Don’t underestimate the power of your psychology—your thoughts and behaviors—it is directly connected to the status your physical body. Another byproduct of holding yourself in emotional imprisonment is psychological disorders. Anger turned inward often times surfaces as depression, and/or substance abuse. Unresolved guilt can manifest as chronic anxiety.

Are all of these ailments worth protecting your ego from admitting a wrong doing? If we can begin to see that our self-worth is not connected to whether or not we are right or wrong, we will free ourselves and others from a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Love,
Terri

What Do You Do For Yourself?

What does it for you? What makes you feel grounded, connected, content, exhilarated? What produces feelings of joy, satisfaction, ease, relaxation? What do you do to make sure you feel these things on a regular basis?

Spend time with friends
Swim
Watch your favorite program on TV
Go on an outing with your family
Nap
Take a walk by the ocean
Golf
Sit quietly in a serene surrounding
Cook
Do something enjoyable with your significant other
Write
Throw a dinner party
Read
Yoga
Bake
Go to the beach
Play a sport
Go for a walk
Go to the movies
Bookclub
Shop
Hang out in nature
Play cards
Meditate

What do you do for you that makes you enjoy your life?

Happy Labor Day weekend.

Love,
Terri

Don't Be Affraid!

Let’s talk a little more about emotions. Do you see them as something to fear and avoid, or experience and enjoy? Do you view emotions as positive or negative? Do you allow yourself to fully experience all of your emotions, or do you pick and choose which ones are acceptable?

It’s natural to want to gravitate toward emotions that feel good such as joy or happiness, but does that mean that the “less than desirable” emotions such as anger or sadness don’t serve a purpose and should be avoided at all costs? No! Emotions are what make us alive and allow us to connect with the world and ourselves. Our full range of emotions serve a purpose and can teach us a great deal about ourselves. Before we can learn what is beneath our emotions, though, we have to sit with them long enough to find out what is at the core of their existence. And the only way we will likely sit with them is if we learn to not fear them. Emotions are designed to be felt not feared.

For many of us the thought of sitting with our emotions of sadness or anger is too scary, and so we seek means to distract ourselves (and not always in a healthy way). All too often we cut ourselves off from the emotions we perceive as less than desirable, which means we are cutting ourselves off from a crucial part of our life experience and knowledge about ourselves that could lead to a major shift in personal growth.

So, before you react the next time you feel sad or angry just give it a try—sit with your emotions—still your mind, and listen to what the truth is behind them. Look inward and reflect. What are your emotions covering up? Loneliness, hurt, fear, insecurity, pain, feelings of being unworthy, weakness, vulnerability? Connect this concept with what we talked about last week. The emotions you feel, although it may seem on the surface that they are about others, are often really about you.

I wish you a wonderful week of emotional exploration!
Love,
Terri

Pride in Ownership: Emotional Empowerment

What is your take on emotions? How do you define the concept? What types of emotions are there? Do you own your emotions? If not, then who owns them?

Emotions are feelings that arise from our thoughts and beliefs, and can be felt physiologically and expressed behaviorally. All too often we give credit to or blame others for our emotions, but the fact of the matter is we are the creator and owner of our emotions. For example, we might believe that someone else is responsible for our happiness or anger. You can confirm whether or not you believe this by paying attention to the comments you make: “He makes me so happy, “or “She made me really mad.” The truth is it’s your thoughts and beliefs about his behaviors or her actions that creates the emotions you feel.

Emotions generate from within, which means they are yours. Many of us need to practice being the proud owner of our emotions. When we take pride in ownership we become empowered and sit comfortably in the driver’s seat of our own life. What are the actions steps involved in owning our emotions, you ask? First, a shift in consciousness (be aware of where you are placing responsibility for your emotions), and then begin speaking a different tune: “I felt so happy when I received the flowers you sent,” or “I felt hurt and angry when you didn’t introduce me to your boss.” What are some other ways you can practice owning your emotions?

Maybe we’ll talk more about this topic next week. Until then, have a fun week of getting in touch with and owning your emotions!

Love,
Terri

It's All About You

Pay close attention to what’s going on when you conjure up ideas about how others perceive you. The truth is you don’t know what others are thinking, so when you take it upon yourself to “assign” what you believe others are thinking about you it’s actually a pretty good indication of what YOU think about YOU.

Personal growth entails getting to know yourself on a deeper level. It’s imperative that you gain clarity on how you perceive yourself, and one way of doing that is to identify your pattern of speculating what others are thinking about you. Do you generally think that others perceive you in a positive or negative manner, or as superior or inferior? How you perceive yourself is the foundation from which all of your interactions unfold.

Spend some time this week investing in your personal growth. Search deeply for the truth about how you perceive yourself as it may be hidden far beneath the surface. If you find the truth is less than desirable then know this…you are carrying around beliefs that are not serving you or those around you. Take action by challenging those beliefs.

Lots of love,
Terri