Saturday, September 12, 2009

I Was Wrong, and I'm Sorry

A genuine “I was wrong, and I’m sorry” can go a long way. It actually helps to heal both parties…the apologizee AND apologizer. Sometimes we find it very difficult to say “I’m sorry” because behind an apology is the confession that we did something wrong.

When we feel we’ve done something wrong we are burdened with the emotion of guilt. And when we don’t find a healthy way of releasing our guilt, it remains bottled up inside. When such an intense emotion toward ourselves remains confined inside of us it tends to turn into debilitating emotions such as self-hatred, anger, disgust, and resentment, which ends up being expressed outwardly toward others. This is called projection—what we feel toward ourselves is redirected toward others. It’s a defense mechanism that keeps us protected from the pain, shame, guilt, fear, and anger we feel toward ourselves.

When we house contempt toward ourselves it’s very likely that we will begin to suffer physically (physical pain, migraines, digestive problems, ulcers, illnesses, disease, etc.). Your immune system becomes compromised when it has been overtaken by toxins, and this includes negative emotional pollution. Don’t underestimate the power of your psychology—your thoughts and behaviors—it is directly connected to the status your physical body. Another byproduct of holding yourself in emotional imprisonment is psychological disorders. Anger turned inward often times surfaces as depression, and/or substance abuse. Unresolved guilt can manifest as chronic anxiety.

Are all of these ailments worth protecting your ego from admitting a wrong doing? If we can begin to see that our self-worth is not connected to whether or not we are right or wrong, we will free ourselves and others from a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Love,
Terri

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