Balance

Yesterday afternoon I attended a symposium at work, and our only task, aside from drinking wine and eating appetizers, was to discuss the concept of balance. It was interesting to hear the various ways people define balance and apply it to their lives, and I thought it would be a great topic to write about. As I share my perspective with you, I invite you to reflect on what balance means to you, and if you feel so moved, please share your thoughts.

Being in the field of psychology, the concept of balance is intriguing to me. It wasn’t until about four years ago that I started thinking about it on a much deeper level. I used to believe that balance was a state of steadiness where life felt good and all was well. I would exert a great deal of energy to get there, as if it were a destination, with hopes that once I did I’d be able to maintain that state from that point forward for the rest of my life! Need I tell you that didn’t work out so well? I learned that it was an idealistic but unrealistic goal, which set me up for failure and disappointment time and again.

Not too long ago I was taking a class in which the instructor blatantly stated, “Balance is an illusion.” I immediately had an aversive emotional reaction to his statement, and didn’t like one bit of what I was hearing. I stepped back and took inventory of my emotional defensiveness and realized that it was my resistance to the fact that his statement had some truth to it. The more I thought about it the more I could clearly see that balance wasn’t a destination but a continuous process that is comprised of the ebb and flow of life.

The very nature of balance is cyclical. You see this in nature, nations, society, cultures, families, and individuals. Life consists of ups and downs, rises and falls, successes and failures, peaks and degeneration, growth and deterioration, birth and death. There is constant movement in order to keep balance. Balance is not just the good stuff, and to me, that’s the illusion.

While teaching about the concept of balance in one of my classes I had everyone stand up and go into one of my favorite yoga asanas: tree pose. Tree is a balance pose, and when in it you become strikingly aware of the amount of movement that is involved with this apparently “steady” stance. At the symposium yesterday, one of my colleagues used the analogy of a waiter or waitress carrying a tray full of drinks. It’s not keeping your hand rigidly in one place under the tray that enables you to balance it, it is the constant movement of your fingers and replacement of your hand as the weight of the tray changes that allows for balance. The same applies in life. Balance, this illusion of steadiness, requires much fluidity and flexibility as we are presented with the positive and negative changes that accompany life.

So, just relax, go with the flow, and ride the wave of life. Finding...no, EXPERIENCING balance might be much easier than you originally thought!

Namaste,
Terri