Detachment is Key

Have you ever gotten the vibe that someone doesn’t like you? What’s your reaction to that? How does it make you feel? Does it make you feel nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable? Does it make you feel angry, irritated, or bothered? How do you react? Do you try to go out of your way to win their approval, or do you send the “oh yeah, well I don’t like you, either!” vibe right back at them?

The truth is, not everyone is going to like you, and being okay with that is another option. And believe it or not, it’s a healthy option. You can’t control others’ perceptions, and the minute you try to you will undoubtedly end up frustrated and disappointed. Their reasons are their own which involve not only how they perceive you, but how they perceive themselves, and how they perceive themselves in relation to you.

Liking or disliking is more complex than just having positive or negative feelings toward another. It’s never just about the other person. It always includes one’s view of him/herself in comparison to the person being “sized up.” This is probably the rare occasion where the words “never” and “always” actually apply. As the perceiver, we simply can’t be removed from the basis of our perception. The good news is someone else’s perception of you doesn’t have to be your truth. Someone can have a negative perception of you without it ever affecting who you really are. It might help to remember that they have a right to their perception just as you do yours.

So, if you get the opportunity this week, let it be your challenge to get comfortable with someone not liking you. Detachment is key in personal growth. I think you’ll find it to be liberating.

Have a great week,
Terri